Saddles and sore backs

I never wanted to be That Horse Owner that let a poorly fitting saddle hurt her horse. I bent over backwards to get a saddle that would fit (or so I thought), hiring a saddle fitter, trying a whopping 18 saddles before finding one that got the green light, and then, reflocking the goddamn saddle to replace lumpy flocking that could cause discomfort. And of course, all of this was way over my budget (have I mentioned I am a broke college kid working a minimum wage job to afford my beast?)

But of course, despite my efforts, everything went to hell. I had the saddle fitter out six months later to do some adjustments on the flocking, and she broke the wonderful news to me: This saddle doesn't fit at all, you need a new saddle.

Little Miss Shoulders (Beauty) had muscled up so nicely, that she now needed a saddle that was a whole tree size wider. And the saddle I had was already a wide.

So the search began again, resulting in me ordering a new saddle from a company that specializes in wide horses, Duett. Luckily, even new, there saddles are pretty cheap, so I could (almost) afford this.

So, great, I have a saddle that will fit coming my way, right?

WRONG.

The company in the US was out of the model, size and tree that I needed. So they put in an order for the manufacturer and told me it would be maybe two weeks. Okay, I could do that.

A month later, no saddle, we called the US company. The order had been delayed and would (hopefully) be in in a month.

And meanwhile, I've been riding my sensitive mare in a saddle that doesn't fit, six days a week.

It started with her being just less willing to come up through her back when riding or having a rough time getting the canter transition, but now is full blown "don't touch my back", flinching when being groomed, ear pinning undersaddle, PAIN. It breaks my heart and I don't know what to do. I feel awful every time I get on, because I know I am causing her discomfort.

But at the same time, I can't just give her a month off (she goes batshit crazy when not in work, plus we have out FIRST SHOW YAY in three weeks). She's the widest horse at the barn, so there isn't a saddle that I could borrow to fit her better. I've tried using a riser pad, a gel pad, a fleece half pad - nothing helps. Riding bareback doesn't help, since my bouncing seatbones just stab her in the area where she is already sore. I've been putting liniment on her back daily and cold hosing her.

I just don't know what to do and I feel like a horrible horse mom. :(